2010.

Great new friends and a handful of good old faithful ones. A thriving new business (I'm so fortunate to be completely in love with what I do and have a partner who's also my friend). My own apartment, again. A family I can't even begin to describe. A grandmother/mother who's gone. A huge heartache. Lots of books. Lots of therapy. Tons of living. 2010 was absolutely full, difficult and amazing, with the intensity every year should have. I couldn't have asked for more. May 2011 remain everything but dull. Amen.

the men of my life

I don't talk much about them here, but these are the two most important men in my life: my brother and my dad. Spending the years in their company has raised my standards and has taught me to expect nothing less than absolute kindness from any male figure I come into contact with. They've somehow managed to survive in a house with 3 very opinionated women and still love us to death – and that should speak volumes about them.

Isn't it sad...

how you began to almost suck the moment you stopped moving me?

Ana

"Ana não se sentia esgotada, cansada, destruída nem nada do que lhe acometera nos ultimos meses. Depois de muito tempo, Ana sorria feito boba. Sorria sozinha. Porque sentia seu coração no lugar, sua cabeça no lugar e não demoraria muito pra sua vida entrar nos eixos. Ana e somente Ana, conseguia entender o que se passava e sorria sozinha. Um riso leve, um sorriso solto, que não se pode segurar só pra si. Nem ela sabia, que guardava tantos sorrisos. Era muito bom estar de volta."

[tirado de um canto lindo da internet]

volare

Le Saut dans le vide, Yves Klein

Did you know that Domenico Modugno was inspired by Yves Klein's "Le Saut dans le vide" and his exhibition "Proposition Monochrome; Blue Epoch" to compose the song "Nel blu dipinto di blu"? I'll never look at any of those pieces the same way again, and that just made my day.

Blue Monochrome, Yves Klein

[via]

dance your PhD

Carleton team wins Dance Their PhD contest

numbers, you take my breath away

Not sure how I survived 29 years without creating a spreadsheet, but Numbers is completely rocking my world. I feel so secure, so grown-up. It almost feels like I know what I'm doing, and we all know that's a pretty rare feeling. Nobody should start their 30s as a spreadsheet virgin.

guardei. eu sempre guardo.

Guardei sem ter porque, nem por razão ou coisa outra qualquer além de não saber como fazer pra ter um jeito meu de me mostrar.

note to self

May I have the strength and patience to pretend I don't know. May my days be happier with the fact that I chose to accept, even though acceptance requires me to die a little bit inside. May you wake up one of those days and see that - eventhough you're oh so lovely - that part of you just ain't right.

maybe the world breaks on purpose

"Maybe the world breaks on purpose, so we can have work to do. People think there aren't frontiers anymore. They can't see how frontiers are all around us."

Another beautifully done piece from the Go Forth campaign.

my dad doesn't get the internet

Me: You need to learn how to look through pictures on my Flickr. There's a bunch of photos of you there and you don't even know.

Him: OF COURSE THERE IS NOT. I never put anything on there... You know what I also don't get? The Facebook thing. You put your face on there? Is that what you do? Put your face on there and that's it?

Me: Have you ever even google yourself?

Him: Ok, now WHY would I EVER do that?

Me: There's a bunch of stuff about you there too.

Him: Yeah, I never put anything on there either.

old

não tenho mais idade
pra brincar de esconde-esconde
vem me pegar

- Martha Medeiros

chicago, i missed you so

It's weird and amazing how some things in me only come out when I'm here. It's been a little over 24 hours and it's already been amazing. I hadn't felt like this in almost 3 years. One half my world is more comfortable, more rational, and it completely makes me a better person. The other half is here – a mess, a roller coaster and absolutely intense. I feel like I belong here, but I miss home SO BAD already. It's never been this good, here and there.

danny and annie

She lights up my life when she says to me at night "would you like a little icecream?" or "would you please drink more water?". I mean, those aren't very romantic things to say, but they stir my heart.

noel

"Agora eu vou mudar minha conduta
Eu vou à luta, pois eu quero me aprumar
Vou tratar você com força bruta
Pra poder me reabilitar
Pois essa vida não tá sopa"

today i'm feeling in portuguese

Minha irmã leu isso pra mim hoje. É do Fernando Pessoa :

"Basta pensar em sentir
Para sentir em pensar.
Meu coração faz sorrir
Meu coração a chorar.
Depois de parar de andar,
Depois de ficar e ir,
Hei de ser quem vai chegar
Para ser quem quer partir.
Viver é não conseguir."

Eu pensei nisso o dia inteirinho e fiquei triste, triste.

Que tristeza é a gente ter que abrir mão de quem a gente gosta para nos tornar indiferentes, sejam quais forem as circunstâncias. Seja por uma história que não deu certo, por improbabilidade de vingar, ou porque outros acham que não é pra ser. "Larga disso, parte pra outra".

Como se essa fosse a ordem evolutiva das coisas, e não o contrário! Você gosta, aí ama, aí fica indiferente. É isso? Confere? Como se o amor que morre de morte prematura, de aborto, sem chance de sobreviver o dia, nos tornasse pessoas melhores, mais fortes e evoluídas.

Não faz sentido nenhum pra mim. Pobre deles que nem conseguem gostar.

"Amar não é um vexame. Escândalo mesmo é a indiferença."

**

I'm his switzerland. He's my sarajevo.

cee-lo and type. love and love.

friends and music

Some people come into our lives and fill it with good music. That's been the case with my friend Leo, who listens to bands that don't even exist yet. One of the many great things he's given me is a taste for quality music – whatever that means, I know I've learned to like it. He plays and understands instruments, hears tones and things the average human being can't even grasp and points them out to me every time– which is funny and completely adorable.

He's introduced me to Esperanza. He's always listening to this song at the office and in the car, I've always loved it but only recently I asked him about it. It's been on repeat for a week now.

Brigada, Leo. Você enche meus dias de coisas bonitas.

total blindness

You know what the irony is? Everyone tells me that being with him would be settling for less, but all I can think of is how a person like him is ever going to like a person like me.