update

I got a bunch of messages from friends and a few people who read this blog asking for updates on my dog. Thanks to everybody for the concern and the lovely words of support. I'm a sucker when it comes to my little guy and last week was awful. He's still not fully recovered, he definitely can't see from both eyes yet, but he seems to be moving around a little better and improving every day. He's still a little dizzy, but the vet says it that should be temporary.

Again, thanks for the messages, comments, and phone calls. Puppy appreciates it all and says he'll be responding emails as soon as he feels a little better.

really sad

I'm so sad today I can't really put it into words. I hadn't cried in a long time, but I think I was probably saving up for something like this. Puppy might be permanently blind. Updates to come.

+++++++++

UPDATE: Just came back from the ophthalmologist vet and he said this might be a case of optic neuritis. We're starting medication tomorrow and we're going back for another check up on Friday, to see if there is any progress. If it is optic neuritis, he should be ok. And that means I will be alright too. Pray for us!

27

Today is my birthday and I'm turning 27. This is the first time that I feel closer to my thirties than I am of my twenties, and it's bitter-sweet. So I have decided to make a list of a few things to remind myself of how productive my twenties were. This is not intended to be a list of crimes I have committed, even thought some items might lead one to believe so. But let's keep in mind that this is a somewhat parent-proof list, so I might have been a little more productive that it seems.

1. Sold all my CDs to an used-CD store and borrowed the rest of the money to go to Los Angeles spend 4 days with my then boyfriend who had moved away.

2. Stayed at a motel called "Vagabond Inn" with then boyfriend at some ghetto in Long Beach, CA.

3. Spent $700 on a car on Wednesday afternoon and totaled it on Thursday morning.

4. Stopped taking my meds for almost 4 years because I thought I had cured my panic disorder.

5. Fell in love with and bent over backwards for a boy who had "INSANE" tattooed across his back. Literally.

6. Jumped on the road at 3 o'clock in the morning by myself, leaving Chicago at 95mph.

7. Bought a 30 lbs. dog in my first year in the US, and hid it for 6 months because the building where I used to live at the time did not allow pets.

8. Gave a old, ugly, and nasty-looking cop my cell phone number to get out of a ticket.

9. Had gastric bypass surgery.

10. Moved back to Brazil.

11. Went to school drunk. More than once. More than twice.

12. Accumulated almost $700 worth of parking tickets in a 4 year period. Had to pay it all off one snowy afternoon when my car was towed.

13. Almost got arrested on Memorial Day weekend in 2004. Here's the story: the Indianapolis 500 was going on down the street from my apartment. The police blocks 90% of the streets at a certain time so the crowd attending the race can get off on the highway only, and every road that led to my place was a dead end. It was storming badly, the tornado warning sirens were going off, and I could see a tornado from a small distance. So I decided to run over a road block and get home as fast as I could. Couldn't get home fast enough, so I had to hide a an Arby's kitchen.

to Puppy - only he's white

Black Dog

by James DenBoer

Nothing goes on in his head.
It all goes on in his glands,
his muscles, his nose.
He chases every squirrel
every time he sees one,
barks and lunges at every cat;
he'd eat every bit of garbage
on the road if I didn't snap his lead hard.
He doesn't care in a way I can't.
He doesn't confuse past with present;
his only language is what's now
and under his black pads.
He's the perfect one, in fact,
to talk with, in the rain and wind
of January, when winter needs talking to
and writing down to bone-cold.
As with the many names of God,
I repeat his name often-he doesn't know
my name, he doesn't know this
is winter, he doesn't know
he could kill me with those teeth.
He listens to my chatter, my hum,
my chikk-chikk like a squirrel;
my noises keep him interested
and unworried. He scribbles
along the scent of air, his nails click
on wet black stones, he pulls his way
toward red lights on Fair Oaks Avenue,
he leads me back to start.

this time last year

A lot has changed, clearly not just for me.

Puppy loves snow. His nose turns pink before the first big storm, and I used to have to beg him to come back home every time I let him out. He would dive his little face into that sea of white, while I stood inside under a pile of blankets. Weekends were the best. I miss snowy Saturdays when I could sleep in and didn't have to drag myself to my car and get rid all the snow sitting on top of it. I don't miss that part. I never got used to having to do that in the morning, I fucking hated that ritual. But other than that, I really miss it all.

he's happy here

Puppy and I are doing well. We're happy in Brazil, so far. New job opportunities are coming up, the weather is amazingly hot, it's November and I get to wear sundresses. I go to sleep at 5am, and wake up at 11am. I eat ice cream, drink beer and eat rally yummy home made food. ON A DAILY BASIS. I have no rent to pay. I don't do my own laundry. I don't pump my own gas. I'm spoiled rotten, and - right now - I couldn't ask for more.

Tomorrow is a holiday here, so my sister, my mom and I have a "gardening class" in the morning, at my sister's new house. That's right. I'm taking one for the team and will participate. Am I full of surprises or what?

FIDO

A month ago or so, when it was about 300 degrees in shade here in Indianapolis, I started wondering what I should do to help a dog that lives at a garage behind my job. He's always been there, chained to a wire fence where his owner works. It's like a small junkyard. The guy is there most of the time, but even when he's not, the poor dog is there, hiding from the sun or the rain under some old car, or in his old house made out of really old wood. Rain or shine, he's always there. You can even see his house on Google map, I'm not kidding. Look:


Anyway, I thought about talking to his owner, but you never know how people are going to react if you point something out to them, and since I work right there, I decided not to take a chance and have some dude mad at me. But there was no way I was going to let that dog just sit there.

I thought about calling Animal Control, but I think most of the time, IF they come to check your case, they'll take forever and they might take the animal away and just kill him, which of course, I didn't want to happen. So I was googling to see if I could find some other resource, or if there was anything I could legally do myself to get the dog out of there. That's when I learned about FIDO: Friends of Indianapolis Dogs Outside.

They are an amazing organization of volunteers only that helps to improve the quality of life of dogs who live always chained outside. The volunteers don't come and take the dog away from you. They encourage dog owners to work with them and educate themselves about how to take good care of their dog, even if they have to stay outside part of the day. Considering that shelters are already full of dogs in need of adoption, the last thing they need are more animals to be taken away from homes if you can try to give people a new perspective first.

So I called FIDO and I left a message reporting about the dog behind my job. I gave them the detailed address, a description of the dog, the conditions he was living in, my name and phone number. A week later they gave me a call and told me that they would go and check on him.

The day after that first call, one of their volunteers called me again saying that she had went over there and talked to two men who work for an architecture firm next to the guy's garage. They told her that the dog's name was Paco, and the owner's name was Kenny. They also knew about complaints that had been made to Animal Control in the past. I guess nothing happened with that. She then went to where the dog was and talked to the Kenny guy and explained the issue. He explained that Paco sits under the cars when he wants to be in the shade and that he's his guard dog, but he's not vicious. C'mon now! For real! What kind of crap is that?

I haven't seen Paco for a couple of weeks now, and I was wondering if his owner had given him away or something, so I started feeling bad. But yesterday I got a third call from another volunteer working on his case. She told me that she went there to check on him again this week, and found out that Kenny took Paco home for a while, at least while it is too hot outside. He's also fixing his house in case he needs to bring him to work. Hopefully he'll give him a better life, but who knows.

Moral of the story: I'm going to start to volunteer for FIDO, because I think they do an awesome job. I'm also going to offer to redesign their website and try put their name more out there so people will know they exist. More and more I'm finding out that I really love this whole animal thing, specially dogs. Sometimes they make me happier than people. I would die for my Puppy. Me and him usually go to Petco on the weekends to walk and play with dogs that live at no-kill shelters. They are there every Sunday, and so are we.