some advice from mom

You can’t change people.

Learn to type. You can always be a secretary.

When someone is drowning, don’t jump in after them. Find a branch.

Men like it when you ask them to open the jars.

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone.

[via]

the direct opposite of me

People Who Aren't as Nice as You'd Think They'd Be

Puppeteers
Nurses
Hippies
Clowns
911 operators
Comediennes
Civil-rights leaders
Ice-cream-truck guys
God
Grown men named Nicky
TV-makeover doyennes
The gays
Alex Trebek
Flight attendants
Portrait photographers
Choir directors
White House press secretaries
Pastry chefs
Belletrists
Humanist philosophers
Off-duty cops
Office-league softball umpires
Fathers of female tennis pros
Buddhist monks
Grandma

I copied from her; she copied from them.