apron

by the lovely Alicia Lynn. [lnk]

numbers, you take my breath away

Not sure how I survived 29 years without creating a spreadsheet, but Numbers is completely rocking my world. I feel so secure, so grown-up. It almost feels like I know what I'm doing, and we all know that's a pretty rare feeling. Nobody should start their 30s as a spreadsheet virgin.

Good to be bad sometimes.

her: OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T!
me: OH, YES, I DID.

yes, girls poop too

I found this today and it made me laugh so hard, because I spent about an hour last night with a group of friends talking about the hassle of having to poop when you're in a relasionshio. For some reason, a lot of women insist on pretending to their boyfriends and husbands that everything they ingest magically disapears in the stomach. "Intestins? Hmm, no, I don't believe I have that organ." Get over yourselves, women. YOU POOP AND YOU KNOW IT.

"Finally! We're acknowledging female poo!

Poo-Pourri is a discreet little bottle of spray that is composed of 'a natural blend of essential oils' that you're meant to spray in the toilet before you go-go. The spray creates a film on the top of the toilet water, which then apparently 'traps' the 'embarrassing odors'.

This nifty little bottle of anti-funk will come in handy in various situations. You know, like pooping at the office, pooping on vacation, pooping in a public toilet, pooping at your inlaws, etc, and it will fit right into your handbag." [via]

not a big cat fan, but this is too good

in case you're interested

1. What are the last 3 things you purchased?
• 4 light fixtures for my studio
• a box of Nature Valley Oats and Honey (granola bars)
• a pair of red-ish high heels

2. What are the last 3 songs you downloaded?
• Radiohead – House of Cards
• Guilherme Arantes – Meu mundo e mais nada
• The Very Sexuals – Anti-Valentine

3. Where were the last 3 places you visited?
• Arraial D’Ajuda, Bahia, Brazil
• Indianapolis, Indiana
• Atlanta, Georgia

4. What are your 3 favorite movies?
• Corrina, Corrina
• Play It Again, Sam (but maybe not. I wanted to say Dirty Dancing, but I might sound dumb)
• I’m saving this spot for “The Diving Bell and the Butterfly”. I’m watching it tomorrow and I know it belongs here.

5. What are your 3 favorite possessions?
• my dog
• my MacBook Pro
• My Nikon D80

6. What 3 things can you not live without?
• my family (mother, father, brother, sister)
• my MacBook Pro
• a car

7. What would be your 3 wishes?
• to get free airlines tickets for a lifetime
• to be able to live in two different places at the same time
• to live in NYC

8. What are 3 things you have not done yet?
• lived in NYC
• had a baby
• had a decent boyfriend

9. What are your 3 favorite dishes?
• junk food (Taco Bell, McD’s, Burger King)
• chocolate
• my mom’s food

10. What 3 celebrities would you want to hang out with the most?
• Connan O’Brian
• Oprah
• Chandler Bing

11. Name 3 things that freak you out.
• mice, snakes, spiders
• being stuck somewhere (bathroom, elevator, etc)
• throwing up

12. If you could describe yourself in 3 words, what would they be?
• curious
• inappropriate
• agoodperson

13. Name 3 unusual things you are good at.
Can’t think of anything too unusual, so here it is:
• I think I’m an AWESOME driver.
• I have an amazing sense of direction. Take me to a place once and I’ll know how to get there forever, from anywhere.
• I’m pretty good with foreign languages.

14. What are 3 things you are currently coveting?
• a decent trip to a place I've never been
• my own apartment
• a new flash for my camera. But I would take a new car too. Whatever comes first.

15. What 3 bloggers would you like tag?
My sister (O Blog da Dri), Sarah (Minus Five), Dri (brendastrikesback)

not getting his money's worth

Click HERE to see an insulting animation.

uh-oh!

scapegoat

"Cool service or not, this thing looks like the Pontiac Aztek of e-readers." (link)


Am I the only one who can see that this poor car has had the saddest life and way too many unfair reviews? I actually wish I had one and I think it's pretty nice. SUE. ME.

feeding my obsession with the prison subject

"In the late '90s, pop-culture historian Bill Geerhart had a little too much time on his hands and a surfeit of stamps. So, for his own entertainment, the then-unemployed thirtysomething launched a letter-writing campaign to some of the most powerful and infamous figures in the country, posing as a curious 10-year-old named Billy. (...)

As it turns out, no group hates to disappoint a child more than convicted killers, all of whom responded promptly to Billy's questions about dropping out of school. Their letters range from criminally insane to downright sensible, offering snapshots of the personalities behind some of America's most hideous crimes. Recently, Radar asked Billy to follow up with his mentors as a college student."


Read all the letters here.

[Via]

the figure-ground game

Got this tip from my brother. Click on the image to go play. (Use the arrows for left and right, space to jump, and shift to change contrast. Simple as that. Now go waste some of that precious time.)

fun. period.

More hotel bed jumping here. (via maggie)

I would love to have their children

Matt Lauer - I got the hots for Matt. He's the New York man. Experienced. Refined, with a sense of humor. Sweet enough to interview Britney Spears. Tough enough to crush Tom Cruise and put Ann Coulter in her place. Plus we've all seen what's under that suit.

Chandler Bing - the perfect combination of sweet, awkward and funny. Not too mushy gushy, not too careless. I would love a Chandler Bing in my life.

Adam Duritz (singer, Counting Crows) - S-E-X-Y. Plus you can hop on his choo-choo and he'll be your engine driver in a bunny suit. Who needs more?

Ben Harper - Number One: he can sing. Number Two: he's hot. Number Three: he's hot. Number four: he's hot and one of the most stylish men ever.

Common - he's a poet, a singer, the right mixture of urban and soul. He makes "the pimp in me may have to die with you" sound awesome. Plus the man is beautiful. The definition of "fly".

Mos Def - he's everything Common is with a sexy Brooklyn accent. He has the whole conscious, socially-aware thing down. Not exactly cute, but cute is overrated. I love everything about him. How can you not love someone that says "then she arrived like daybreak inside a railway tunnel/ like the new moon/ like a diamond in the mines/ like high noon to a junker." Most definitely fresh.

"George " - he's the perfect friend. He'll share his food with you, lend you a shoulder to cry on, laugh at your jokes, watch you take a shower without getting a hard-on. He allows himself to be fragile. The ideal man with lower levels of inappropriate testosterone.

Craig Ferguson - I still find it amazing that an Scottish man managed to succeed as the host of a late night talk show without compromising his sense of humor. He knows when to be serious, he's honest. He refused to make fun of Britney Spears when the was she epitome of the butt-of-the-joke. That's the night I found out I loved him. A man with common sense: sexy.

still, the very cynical side of me

I think it's so ironic that we, girls, are the ones known for dreaming of "Mr. Right" when in reality every other man I meet still firmly believes there actually is a Ms. Right out there just waiting for them.

Would someone please let them know that there is no such thing as a live pin-up-girl? That the whole girl-next-door-book-smart-sexy-stripper type is a product of Hollywood and their fucked-up imagination? Who told men that story and why in the hell do they keep believing that's who they're destined to end up with? I don't know about you, but I quit trying to live up to those standards a looooong time ago.

I wish they would wake up and smell the fucking coffee!

right now

ahhhhhhh! I'm stuck. help.

going through withdrawal

Don't tell anyone, but I would do all kinds of very dirty things to get me one of those at this point.

practical karate

I don't know where I found this, but I think it's nothing short of awesome.

this is the extra credit for Howard

Howard, the writer behind a cool blog called Fascination Streak, challenged his readers to send him "a link to a current (and I mean like recent, recent) picture of Britney shades-less." I'm not sure about the exact dates of these shots, but they are clearly very recent since they show one or more of the following:
1) the whole hospital ordeal
2) her fuck-buddy Adnan
3) one of her nasty weaves



So Howard, here it is. Now where is my shout out?