If you've know me for more than a day you have probably realized that I'm a very annoyable person. Actually, I am the kind of person who deals better with big problems in life that with everyday annoyances. Finding out the company I work for might go bankrupt might concern me to a certain degree, but having someone not reply to my email is a good reason for me to want to murder you. So you get the point.
About a year ago I wrote the "there should be a law"post, where I mentioned there would be more to come, but there wasn't until now. As I sit here after 2 days of total holiday boredom and too much unnecessary eating, I feel that there's no better time to talk about what makes me bitter. So here we go, starting from #8:
There should be a law - the sequel:
8. There should be a law prohibiting people from whistling. Why the f*ck would I want to hear the sound of air coming out of a tiny hole you make with your mouth? Pretty self-explanatory.
9. There should be a law saying that you can only post on Twitter useful links or funny phrases that will add insight or joy to your followers' days. I honestly do not give a crap about where you are, or what you're watching, or how long you took in that bath of yours. You should do us all a favor and drawn if you're one of those people.
10. Repeat after me: they are = they're; their = belongs to them; there = exists or indicates location. Not understanding the difference between those three, specially if you're (notice: not YOUR) from an English-speaking country makes me automatically lose any respect I might have had from you from the start, if any. I believe this is a good way to measure someone's character.
11. There should be a law against the use of the word "blogosfera", which means "blogosphere" in portuguese. To be more accurate, it means "the universe of blogs made in Brazil", which is conceptually annoying, small and country. It's like calling sneakers "fancy shoes". It's just bad. Don't say it. Unless you want me to hit you, and in that case, you should just ask.
12. There should be a law against people in Brazil correcting you for your accurate pronunciation of English. If I know how to say "world" I will not go out of my way to say "WORRRRRRD" (french "r" here) just because that's how you've managed to say it. I will not say "HAAALPH" if it's "Ralph", or "BLOOTOOPHEE" if it's "Bluetooth". YOU get it right, damn it. I've already done my homework.
13. And by the way, it's BeYONcé (emphasis on "yon"), not BeyonCÉ (emphasis on "cé"). Do I have to keep repeating myself??
14. There should be a law against making any kind of hand gestures when posing for a picture. Unless you are Lindsay Lohan or you belong to a respectable gang - small gangs with 10 members or less are not included - , keep your hands and fingers to yourself. It's not cute, don't make me embarrass you in front of pseudo-gang-member friends.
15. There should be a law against touching my computer screen. Unless you plan on murdering me after pointing something out, and then the C.S.I people can come and collect your fingerprint to find out who killed me and catch you afterward, I do not need you to leave any marks on my territory. Yes, this area here, from the edge of my laptop, to about 1 and half feet around it, is mine to use as I please. Be respectful of that and understand that the violation of those 18 inches I require may result in immediate verbal assault in form of very, very dry sarcasm.
(I'm sure there will be more, but for now that's it)
