I was reading some posts from a while ago and all of a sudden I missed writing. I mean, ACTUALLY WRITING, so that months from now I can come back here and see how I was feeling at 5:37, on July 5th, 2007. I'm at work, and my dog is here with me. That's how it is pretty much every day. I wake up around 8am, take a shower, put on something comfortable, usually with flip-flops, get Puppy and head out to work. The environment here is pretty laid back, and I get to work with some people who I actually like. Then I leave, maybe grab something to eat on my way home, walk my dog for a while, talk on the phone with a couple of friends, then maybe someone comes by, or we'll go out to dinner, and then I watch really bad TV.
Some people would say this is the most boring life in the world (including me sometimes), but the fact is that I am in a good place. I have an apartment I love, a job that even though doesn't really challenge me too much (or at all most of the time) but allows me to have a pretty stress-free life and doesn't require me to wear shoes or leave my dog alone at home. I have also been taking better care of myself and keeping my anxiety under control, and that is a huge deal to me. Last year being just normal was my main goal. Most of all, I have few but REAL friends. I look back, about 3 years ago, I knew so many people! I was always around strangers, a constant hang-out with people whose last name I didn't even know.
Now I have the real deal. It's like I have sorted trough everybody and kept the ones who I can really call if I get stranded on the highway. And they would actually come. Or those who would stay with me until 3 o'clock in the morning if I ever felt like I didn't want to be alone. Or those who call to check on me at least twice a week. I might not even see them that often, but I know they are there. I am happy with them. And I'm happy with things in general.
My best guy-friend from Brazil is coming to visit this month, and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE HIM. I've been looking forward to that, and I've been looking forward to other things I can't quite mention now. So I'm finally ok.
And I'm finally getting comfortable with the fact that it's ok to just to be ok. This might be the Lexapro talking, but really - am I wrong?
